Aug 16, 2023 | Parenting
Once upon a time, our kids were young and it didn’t take a lot of effort to get them to listen and do what we told them to. But as they grow, they develop their own identities, opinions, and forms of self-expression. When I was a kid, being a parent was a lot different than it is today. We didn’t have social media and most of us didn’t have cell phones either. The internet was just getting started and we enjoyed more time outdoors. In today’s world, the media and society have made emphasized feelings, self-identity, and awareness in such a way that you can’t say anything without offending someone.
Adolescence is a new birth, for the higher and more completely human traits are now born. – G. Stanley Hall
This makes it much harder to parent your kids. It is crucial during these years to be there as much as you can for your teenager and ensure that you have both trust and open communication in your relationship. It can be difficult to parent because If you try to establish rules and boundaries, then the world thinks you are being a controlling parent. How do you set boundaries but still give your child some of that independence that they need? We’ll discuss this and more in today’s blog.
The Importance of Boundaries and Independence
Boundaries are extremely important for your teens because they set rules and expectations. This isn’t just something to have at home, they will also have set rules, expectations, and boundaries when they are out in the real world.
By preparing them for this now, you are raising responsible young adults that will be able to take care of themselves when they are older. Simple things like not staying out too late, taking out the trash, having some simple chores, and showing others respect are all boundaries that can be established. Let’s compare some of the ways these help our kids when they move out on their own.
- Effectively communicating and showing respect: As your child gets older, they will likely have a job and also other relationships or people come into their life. They may even have a roommate at some point in time. It is important to teach your child how to show respect to others and what is and isn’t okay so they have a sense of what is right and wrong.
- Staying out too late: We know now that when we were younger, we thought staying out late was all the rage among adults. When I was younger, I used to think as an adult I would stay up and read all night long, then sleep during the day and have little snacks in between. Ha! That was back before I knew anything about being an adult or growing up. Now I look forward to bedtime! It’s important to teach your teen not to stay up too late. Eventually, they will also have a job and have to be well-rested to take care of themselves and their responsibilities.
- Having chores: Do you have a magical cleaning fairy that makes your house spic and span before you wake up in the morning? No, me neither! It is essential to teach our kids how to clean up and have chores so that they are not completely disgusting slobs later on in life. Trust me, I know it’s hard. I get pushback every day for a chore as simple as unloading the dishwasher. But one day, they will have to do it all themselves and they won’t know how unless we teach them.
I understand that it is important for our kids to have their independence. All parents do this differently, but I always encourage my kids to express themselves as long as they are doing so respectively.
This means that I allow them to wear what they want to express themselves, within reason. I teach them that they can still express themselves in their clothing, speech, and identity without sacrificing modesty and dignity. They know that I want them to always express their opinion on a subject and tell me how they feel regardless if I like what they have to say or if our opinions differ. I want them to be themselves, but I also want them to respect that everyone has different opinions and different viewpoints and that is okay.
The Journey Through Adolescence
As our kids get older and develop their ideas and opinions we need to keep in mind that they are going through some major changes. Their bodies are changing as they age by producing more hormones and this can lead to some big emotional changes. They might not understand why they feel such feelings of confusion or excitement at some of the smallest things. Voices are changing and hair is starting to grow in different places. Not only do they have to deal with those changes, but they also are learning to discuss new topics and new problems with their friends.
Being a teenager is an amazing time and a hard time. It’s when you make your best friends – I have girls who will never leave my heart and I still talk to. You get the best and the worst as a teen. You have the best friendships and the worst heartbreaks. – Sophia Bush
This is the phase when your teenager begins to understand themselves better. You might notice significant shifts in their clothing, how they talk, or the music they enjoy. Don’t be surprised if your teen starts wearing hoodies in the summer and shorts in the winter. This is how they scream to the world that they are independent and have the right to wear what they want. Some kids form connections with very different kinds of friends, and you might not always approve of their choices. Remember that even if you’re not fond of their new friends or style changes, your child is simply trying to find themselves. As long as they’re not doing anything illegal, being disrespectful, or breaking household rules, it’s okay to let them explore who they are and learn more about themselves.
Parenting Challenges
It can be hard to parent a growing teenager because you might not always see things the same way. Gone is your agreeable, smiling small child who thinks that everything you say is right and good. This person has been replaced with a teenager who is developing their ideas and opinions. Sometimes those opinions can be pretty loud!
Remember to keep an open mind as you talk with your child and discuss how they feel and why they feel that way with them. The biggest challenge for me has been to let go of my children more over the years and stop being so overprotective. As long as I know where they are and I’ve met the other kid’s parents, then it’s okay for them to go stay a few nights with their friends. You have to be able to let go as your child gets older so that they can have life experiences in the real world. This is essential to their future success.
Becoming an adult is like folding a fitted sheet. No one really knows how. – Eric Anderson
Our relationships with our teens can sometimes be difficult and it is very common for us to “butt our heads” when having discussions. Still, it’s important to see things not only from your point of view but theirs as well. As parents, we often expect our kids to understand why we emphasize responsibility, safety, and long-term goals. Most teenagers aren’t thinking like adults and their priorities are often independence, self-expression, and immediate gratification. We’ve all had those discussions about curfews, education, social activities, and even career choices. It can be hard to communicate with your child, but fostering open communication and also seeing things from their point of view can show them that you are willing to listen to what they have to say.
Finding the Right Balance
Letting your teens have their independence while keeping in line with rules like curfew and checking in can be stressful. The advice that I give here is from my own experiences and may not be your parenting style or what you agree with. That’s fine! We all have different ways of parenting.
However, I have learned that my kids are more likely to listen to me and take into consideration what I say to them if I listen to them and treat them with the same respect. I hope that some of my experiences can help other parents that may be struggling with their teens. Here are some ways that you can help your teen to feel more responsible and independent:
- Encourage decision-making: Involve your teen in decisions that affect them. For example, if we are planning a trip somewhere with the kids, we will often hold a family meeting and ask everyone where they would like to go. If we are going out to dinner, we might as everyone where they would like to go.
- Discuss the rules: We all hated certain rules that our parents gave us growing up. Now that we are older, we understand why our parents had those rules. You can discuss the rules with your teenagers and why those rules are in place. If they want to discuss their curfew or go to a friend’s house, then at least take the time to listen to them before giving your answer.
- Regular check-ins: It is very important to me that my children check in with me regularly when they are away from home. I have had this discussion with all of my kids because this is very important to me. I want to make sure that I know where they are supposed to be and that they are safe. Talk with your teen about regular check-ins and how often you would like them to check in with you. This could be a text message or a phone call to let you know how they’re doing while they are away from home.
In Conclusion
Striking the right balance between setting boundaries and allowing your teenager independence requires cooperation from both you and your teen. As they continue to grow and explore their identities and opinions, communication between you remains vital. Encourage their involvement in making decisions and discuss rules to empower them to learn responsibility.
Adolescence is a time of rapid physiological, cognitive, and social growth, and the changes can be both exhilarating and terrifying. – Laurence Steinberg
This will also show them that you value what they have to say. Keep in mind that their bodies are changing and their self-awareness is growing. Remember what it was like being a teenager and how awkward everything was? Respect their opinions and help support their growth into becoming independent, responsible young adults.
Jul 30, 2023 | Blog, Parenting
Raising kids is rewarding and challenging at the same time. Being a parent is filled with love, joy, and fulfillment you won’t get from anything else. But as the years go by, there comes a time when our kids leave “the nest” to pursue their ambitions. This is a time of mixed emotions, including sadness, anxiety, and sometimes relief. It’s normal to feel sad when our kids leave home. We’ve been their caregivers for so long, and it’s a big adjustment not always to have them around. You might also feel anxious about their safety and well-being. And let’s be honest; it can be a little lonely when the house is empty.
But it’s important to remember that the empty nest phase is also a time of opportunity. It’s a time to focus on ourselves and what we need. It’s a time to explore new hobbies and find new ways to occupy ourselves. But we should stay connected to our kids, even though they’re no longer living with us.
The transition to an empty nest can trigger feelings and experiences collectively known as “Empty Nest Syndrome.” In this article, we will discuss this syndrome, come to understand it and the emotional challenges it presents to parents, and why developing strong relationships is essential during this transformative phase.
Growing up is not about leaving behind the child within us; it’s about carrying the wonder and curiosity of that child into the boundless possibilities of adulthood.
What is Empty Nest Syndrome?
Empty nest syndrome is when we feel sad, anxious, or lonely after our kids leave. It can happen when they go to college, get married, or start a new job in a different city.
I know some family and even friends who have gone through it or are scared of it. It can be a big adjustment to go from having kids around all the time to having an empty house. You might miss their laughter, their chaos, and the time you spent together. You might also feel a bit lost like you don’t know what to do with all your free time since you no longer take your kids to practices, appointments, or events.
Eventually, you’ll start to feel better. You’ll find new ways to fill your time with activities you enjoy alone or with new friends. Most importantly, remember that you’re not alone. Many parents go through this, and there are things you can do to cope with it (like getting a pet or exercising).
Empty Nest Syndrome is associated with myths that add anxiety to a difficult time. It is essential to dispel these myths and think more positively. Remember that your feelings are valid, and you aren’t the only parent that has ever felt this way.
Myth: Parents should be overjoyed when their children leave home.
Reality: Feeling mixed emotions during this transition is normal and should be embraced. It is more typical to feel sad than it is to be overjoyed.
Myth: Empty nesters are old and out of touch with modern life.
Reality: Empty nesters come from diverse backgrounds and ages; their experiences and perspectives are valuable.
Empty nesters: Embracing freedom, rediscovery, and endless possibilities with grace and resilience.
Myth: Once the children leave, the parenting role is over.
Reality: Parenting continues to evolve in different ways, and we continue to offer support and guidance to our kids. Whether talking on the phone or sending them some supplies, we are still their parent, and they will always need us.
Myth: Empty nesters can’t form new meaningful relationships.
Reality: The empty nest is an opportunity to nurture new friendships and strengthen existing ones. Why is this even a myth?
Understanding Empty Nest Syndrome requires acknowledging the causes, triggers, and emotions we may experience. By dispelling these myths and embracing life, we can make it through this with a greater awareness of what lies ahead.
The Impact of an Empty Nest
Changes in family dynamics become evident as the once lively home gives way to a quieter atmosphere. (Unless you have pets like me). Siblings who were once constant companions may find themselves adjusting to a different routine or absence of their family. Additionally, the absence of children can create time for parents to reconnect and strengthen their bond as a couple.
While we will initially struggle with the void left by our children, we also have a chance to rediscover the joys of spending quality time together. Moreover, the “empty nest” often becomes a chance to rediscover our identity. With our children grown and gone, we can finally focus on ourselves. We can pursue our dreams, care for our health, and make new friends. This is a great time for self-discovery.
When to Seek Professional Support
Navigating the emotional challenges of Empty Nest Syndrome can be a complex journey, and sometimes, seeking professional support becomes crucial to help us adjust. Nothing is wrong with this; it doesn’t make you weird or crazy. It’s okay to be this way after your child moves out. These are normal emotions. Suppose you feel overwhelmed by sadness or anxiety once your children have left home to the point where it interferes with your daily life. In that case, it may be time to consider therapy, counseling, or a support group.
Support groups can be a great way to connect with other parents who are going through the same thing. It can be helpful to talk to people who understand what you’re going through and offer support and advice.
Therapy is the gentle journey within, a sacred space where healing unfolds, and the heart finds its voice, weaving tales of transformation, courage, and resilience.
Through therapy or counseling, you can gain valuable insights and develop coping mechanisms that empower you to embrace the empty nest phase. Professional support can serve as a guiding light, illuminating the path toward healing and transformation.
In Conclusion
As we come to the end of exploring Empty Nest Syndrome and what it is, it is evident that this phase of parenting comes with a unique set of challenges. It reminds us that loneliness, loss of purpose, and uncertainty are natural responses to our children leaving home. Encouragement to embrace the next chapter of parenting invites us to view the empty nest as a chance to focus on self-care, acknowledge personal passions, and strengthen relationships with partners. While the parenting role may evolve, the love and connection with our children remain steadfast.
As the curtain falls on this chapter of parenthood, a new chapter unfolds, filled with endless possibilities, self-discovery, and the freedom to savor life’s moments to the fullest. The empty nest is not an end but a beautiful and promising beginning.
Jul 27, 2023 | Recipes
Hello, my friends and followers. Today I am sharing with you one of the easiest and most delicious recipes to make in a crock pot. Whenever a friend asks me for a crock pot recipe this is the first one I suggest. This recipe was first given to me by a friend that I worked with long ago and I have changed it just slightly to add more flavor. It is still one of the best and easiest recipes to make, especially if you are short on time and you want to let something slow cook while are busy running errands.
What Goes In Crock Pot Chicken Tacos?
For this recipe, only three ingredients go in the crock pot, unless you decide to make your own seasoning and salsa by hand. However, doing that takes the easy part out of this recipe! All you need to make these yummy chicken tacos is chicken breasts, taco seasoning and some salsa.
A Few Instructions
First you wash your chicken breasts and pat them dry. Lay them down in the crock pot. It’s best if they are not stacked on top of each other, but if you have to make sure that you season the chicken breasts on the bottom before placing more on top. Lightly sprinkle some taco seasoning on the chicken breasts and then pour salsa on top of them. If you have stacked them, make sure to also put salsa on the bottom layer before adding another layer on top.
Make sure that you have placed enough salsa in the crockpot to cover the chicken breasts completely. Cook on low for 6-8 hours. This time will vary depending on your crock pot and the amount of chicken you placed in it.
*Note: You do not need to use the entire packet of taco seasoning. If you use too much, the chicken could come out too salty.
After that, you just get your taco stuff ready and load up the tacos. Enjoy!
Crock Pot Chicken Tacos
The easiest recipe to make savory chicken tacos using the crock pot. Even a novice can make this tasty recipe.
Prep Time 15 minutes mins
Cook Time 6 hours hrs
Course Main Course
Cuisine Mexican
- 4-6 Chicken Breasts The number of chicken breasts depends on their size. Use your best judgement based on the needs of your family.
- 1 Package of Taco Seasoning Low sodium is recommended.
- 1 Jar of Salsa
- 1 Head of Lettuce
- 2-4 Roma Tomatoes
- 1 Containter of Sour Cream
- 1-2 Avocadoes
- 1 Jar of Jalepenos
- 1 Block of Cheese or Bag of Shredded Cheese
Wash off your chicken breasts and place them in the crock pot.
Sprinkle some of the taco seasoning on top of the chicken breasts. How much really depends on your preferences. If you did not get low sodium taco seasoning, keep in mind that this may come out too salty if you use an entire package.
Pour your jar of salsa on top of the chicken breasts. Make sure all chicken breasts are covered in salsa.
Cook on low for 6-8 hours. I've noticed that six hours is usually enough, but larger pieces of chicken may take longer to cook.
Jul 23, 2023 | Blog
Hello and welcome to Middle Aged Me! My name is Rose, and I will soon officially become middle aged this year. (According to Google, this starts at the age of 40.) However, because I had kids at an earlier age, I already feel like I am middle-aged. I have kids that are in college, going to college, and finishing up high school. I’m soon to be (and excited to be!) a Grandmother and I’ve had a lot of life experiences.
I created this website so that we can share our experiences as we navigate through the challenges of being middle aged. We’ve all been through a lot in our lives, and midlife can be one of the most challenging yet rewarding experiences.Surely we’ve all learned a lot about ourselves and what’s important to us, and we can all be excited to share that journey with others.
Here, we can share some tips, resources, recipes, music, and even more resources with one another that will help us to adjust to an older age and a better lifestyle. We can talk about the physical and emotional changes that we’re going through, and we can offer each other support and advice. We can also share our stories of success and failure, and we can learn from each other’s experiences.
Tips for a Happy and Healthy Midlife
Here are some tips for a happy and healthy midlife. These tips are based on my own experiences, as well experiences from people I have met or lessons I have learned from others. I hope that these tips will teach you something new or help you in some way.
Pursuing Your Passions
Do you have an old project that you have been talking about for years that you still haven’t finished? Have you been dreaming of creating your own lush garden in your backyard with an outdoor kitchen and patio? Or maybe you just want to go fishing, learn a new skill or declutter your life. No matter what it is, we’ve all had our different dreams and ambitions. While some ambitons might be unrealistic (life a beachfront property where the weather is always nice and it’s never too hot or too cold) other goals are realistic. You know what they say; life is short. We’re not getting any younger. Purse that dream now while you still can and give yourself a time limit to get it done.
Don’t Forget About Your Health
As we age, so do our bodies. We’ve noticed some wrinkles start to form, skin starts to sag a little and “oh my! is that a gray hair?!”. While I won’t go into the detail here about all the different aches and pains and hormonal changes that we all experience, I just want to say to start taking better care of yourself. If you haven’t already made changes for the better, then start now. According to an article by The Evidence Base About 70% of Americans will have high blood pressure in their lifetimes. What’s more, only 1 in 4 patients with hypertension have their blood pressure under control.¹ Pizza is amazing and so are burgers, fries, chips, cookies and a lot of other things that aren’t good for you. That beer that you drink every night might start catching up with you. It’s important to make changes in your diet now so that you can avoid health issues in the future. I’m not saying to completely quit eating burgers or having milkshakes. What I am saying is to have these kinds of things in moderation. I will be sharing some healthy recipe ideas and I hope that you will all do the same! Also make sure that you get a decent amount of excersize so that your bones and your muscles can stay strong.
Stay In Touch With Friends & Family
It’s also normal to feel a little lost during this time. There could be some times as you get older that you’ll start feeling a little lost. You might look in the mirror one day and go “wow, who are you?” reminiscing how much you have changed over the years. This is perfectly normal. After all, we are constantly changing and growing as people. This is no reason to become depressed or feel discouraged about what you haven’t accomplished in life. Focus on your acheivements! Also, don’t forget that there are friends and family available that you can talk to about the way you are changing or about the way you feel. It’s important to keep healthy relationships now and as you age together so that you can celebrate together through the good times and support one another during the hard times.
In Conclusion
Thank you for taking time to read the very first blog post on middleagedme.net! I know that we will continue to learn and grow with each other as these posts continue. Midlife is a time of change, but it is also a time of growth and opportunity. It is a time to reflect on our lives, to learn from our experiences, and to make changes that will help us to live our best lives. It is also a time to connect with loved ones, to make a difference in the world, and to enjoy all that life has to offer.
I encourage you to embrace this stage of life and to make the most of it. This is your time to reinvent yourself and to find your true purpose in life.
